“Excuse me Madam,” said an orotund voice in the crowded dingy environ of that Government office which smelled heavily of the moist old dust laden files lying wherever your eyes could go. The man was heavy built mostly gym built body, probably in his early twenties and damn hot. But if his pulchritude is kept aside, I trembled on my feet wondering why this guy had singled me out among the fifty other people standing there. “Was it his weird attempt at making some moves?” I thought. I do not rememeber what he asked next because it didn’t matter much. I also do not remember if giving my directions helped him or not. Later the same guy out of courtesy helped me with certain formalities the office people made me do. Perhaps he was a man of Morals. Perhaps I was Judgmental. Perhaps I had realised ‘Not all men are the same’.
But honestly, if any girl would have been at my place, she would have first thought on similar lines as I had. Isn’t it? Why is that so? Why any random guy has to bear the brunt? It is not the case that we females have any kind of aversion from the male folks. We do love the different men we have in our life, be it our father, our brother, our friend or that special someone. I do believe that these men won’t go around and chase women and pass lewd comments on them. But why is that I or any random girl can’t trust any stranger? Why we feel a kind of repulsion when any random guy approaches us? Why we always misquote the males or their advances?
It is not that only females face the barbaric acts in the country, even the males also face their own share of atrocities, which are often left unsaid and unheard. If it is not easy being a woman, being a man is also not a bed of roses. This post is dedicated to all the male folks out there, thank you for being in our life and making it a secure place. Read further and you will realise that males also suffer, they also feel the pain:
• Stranger guy equals harm
As I said at the opening of this post, when that stranger come up to me, I dint feel good. I gave him the ‘Go away’ looks, with no fault of his. Irrespective of sensing his intentions, I perceived him as a wrong person, gifting some kind of trouble to me. Just because some men are bad, we can’t consider all in one bracket. Next time, if someone comes up to me, I would not react the same way I previously did. I hope you too.
• Men are emotion-less
Why men are considered as the rough and tough people, who are taught from the childhood not to display emotions? Why can’t they also shed tears like we females do? Why are they told to act like a pillar? Why can’t they feel weak and sensitive about something? They also have the right, they are also humans. Honestly, always portraying the tough guy is not easy, not at all. Society needs to amend the rules, and try considering males as humans and not just males. Guys, you are allowed to cry on your break-ups and become emotional on issues like your female counterparts.
• Man is dominant in marriage
It is a common notion that men rules the marriage. He is the dominant one, and always instructs his wife to do this and that. All the decisions are his, and the wife is required only to implement them. But this story is not always true. There are households where the decision makers are the wives, and the husbands are followers. Take it this way, if a man gives his wife, the liberty to live her own life and make her decisions, he is tagged as ‘Joru ka Gulam’. So, if he takes a decision he is dominant, and if he does not take a decision, he is his wife’s puppet. Why can’t males get any peace!
• The marriage business
If a girl is not earning and is of marriageable age, it is fine; but what if it is the other way round? If a woman is doing a job, it is her personal choice. But for a man, it is the necessity. They are considered as the bread winners of the society. You ask any father, will he give his daughter’s hand to a guy who is not earning? The answer is a big No, forget about all those Bollywood flicks. So, for getting married and getting a good match, a good job is such an important eligibility as far as males are considered. Girls have an upper hand here!
• The unsaid rapes
A woman gets raped, it is bad, but when a man gets raped, it is even worse. The reason is that the society bans them from speaking their story, because rape is a sign of weakness. And according to society’s beliefs, a man can never be weak. There are a number of child abuse cases being faced by the male child, but those incidents never surfaces, because of society’s baseless beliefs. Because of such incidents, the entire life of a male is adversely affected. Thanks to the awareness, the small kids are now being enlightened on the subject of sexual abuse.
• Judging a book by its cover
We all travel in the overcrowded buses and metros, and slight touching becomes an obvious thing. Even if a male has no intention to touch the female standing adjacent to him, but accidentally due to push he ends up doing that; he is gifted with slaps and uninvited embarrassment. I ask you, what was his fault? He was simply travelling, isn’t this an atyachhar on the male folks. I request all females, reading this post, don’t judge a man just like that…not every guy is on the road to misbehave with you!
A lot has been said and written on gender equality. A trillion number of movements have been launched and are still working for the women’s rights; but why is the man belittled? There is a definite need to end this ‘expectations burden’ being imposed on the males. They also have the right to be sensitive and showcase their emotions. As the saying goes,’ charity begins at home’, start by teaching your little son or brother, that they are humans, and not the emotion less money earning robots. Men also need to show their other side, to their family and try to be compassionate. You are humans first, and male or female later. To all the ladies out there, always understand every man is not harmful, coz not all men are the same!!
Thatslyf invites opinions from its readers on this subject. Feel free to share your views; we are waiting to hear from you!
