Be guided by the stars,
By guided by the winds,
Be guided by the sun,
Not by what they might think….
How many of you would agree with me if I were to say that What you are today is not what you wanted to be in the first place. It’s what you have been told you wanted from always. It’s true that our faith in ourselves is always influenced by something someone had said about us. It may be both good and bad. But it is what he or she had said and believed about us. It is their opinion. How much we give value to their opinion rests with us. How much are we affected by what will they say when we are gone? As if it were not enough already, our tight knit society of which we boast about socially, usually asphyxiate the real flair within each one of us at some point of time. What will my neighbors think? What will my boss think? What will my friends say? What will they think if you do not get married? So you get married. What will they think if you do not have kids? So we now plan kids. What will they think your kids don’t go to some great school? And so we unknowingly keep on sailing the boat that someone else is rowing.
These outlooks are insignificant because it is not your judgment. I prefer to call these uncalled for opinions inconsequential and the people that make them “Peanuts- immaterial”.
But how can we stop being driven by such Peanuts? Well one can start off with the following suggestions and rest shall follow:
1. Self Confidence- Building this is the biggest booster of low morale persons. Take Pride in whatever you do. Next time when a Peanut pulls you down, push yourself up even stronger. Fight your way up the ladder with humility. A person can show you down only if you have a hollow ground. Remember you can only choose to take the road, if you have the steering in your own hands. So, gear up, take the steering wheel of your life in your hands and let not others misguide you. Take it wherever you want.
2. Choose the right company- Avoid negative energy and pessimism. Let negative criticism fall onto deaf ears. It is only when you start to struggle that you realize how many are there to pull you back. Remember the story of the deaf frog that jumped out of the well because he did not hear the negation around him from other frogs that tried to demotivate him from going out of the well. He did see the beautiful world out there. So will you.
3. Trust what you are doing is the right thing and right way of doing it. Realize that it is you who has to swim the ocean alone so how you swim is up to you. Take your stand with a firm foot. Explain to others why it is important that you must be heard. Tell them your dreams and aspirations about yourself and how you have planned it to take a shape.
4. Stop blaming yourself- Understand that you are not the cause of all the problems in the world. This is one of the biggest challenges in overcoming the initial impediments in realizing your dreams. When people notice you are week on the inside, they charge on the very same insecurity. You yourself have to have trust in you. Learn to say NO when needed and learn to fight for your good. Do not buckle under the strain of self derision.
5. Say I love you in front of the mirror as many times as you need it in a day. We should not have a need of a person around us to tell us how beautiful we are or how intelligent we are. If we do, we are letting others’ opinions bother us. Whenever you feel demotivated or find yourself struggling hard in seeking positivity, and you feel dejected, stand in front of mirror, wipe your tears and say to yourself loud and clear “I Love You.”. If you think, this is a minor step towards positive thinking you are wrong. One of the major and most vital steps in overcoming what others think of you is to try to listen to your subconscious self.
But should the opinion of Peanuts matter none at all? By total avoidance of what others think about us will it not become a cause of stagnation in personality? Will it not become a reason valid enough for not trying to improve oneself?
I mean if I am right in my own eyes, Which I usually would like to be, why would I go about changing my ideals, my thoughts, my decisions for a Peanut. And if such were the case, then wouldn’t the world be like one of those garden parties where groups of priggish populace discuss the hollowness of worthless things. Isn’t saying no to criticism means saying no to improvement.
Well here is a folly. Criticism is perennial. It has and it will exist. One must learn to use it constructively to build one’s character. Opinions that Peanuts hold about you should excite you and push you ahead in life. A Pull back is a strict no. Be proud of what you are, not what others think you could be. Why worry what peanuts think? They are meant to be roasted and gulped not pondered and brooded.
Remember the following quote:
“Let others pride themselves about how many pages they have written; I’d rather boast about the ones I’ve read.” Jorge Luis Borges.