No, I don’t love my life..
Who said that life is once, only once? What about life after death then? What about life of the undead? Even if life is once, who can prove that it is worth living? Why life is given so much of importance? Lastly, if at all you want to give importance to your life, don’t ask me to join you in your endeavor to make my life safe and beautiful. So, let me do all the subsequent things, which would demean my gratitude towards life, for the reason that “No I don’t love my life”..!!
Wearing Helmets and Seatbelts- How foolish this can be? Why would I wear a helmet? It destroys my hairdo and more importantly, if I am gal, I have to look good rather than be safe on road. With all these cops chasing, putting a fine and many such weird dramas, I would rather dangle my helmet on the bike handle, to save me monetary benefits and prevent me from paying penalty as soon as I spot the police, but over my head not in this life. Seatbelts too are too uncomfortable and choke me to death besides giving wrinkles to my dress, and that I cannot afford to bypass.
Drive Slow- This is way too taxing on my nerves. I can’t allow myself to ask my brain and body, to get up an hour early, get ready on time, and drive slow and safe. I really, like the fast and furious speed driving to my work. If I drive fast, the girls notice the tornado that just rushed past them, and by doing this I become so cool, but if I drive slow and safe, wouldn’t it be 70’s Bollywood romance? Where is the kick? I must drive fast to the movie because I don’t want to miss the beginning, but how do you expect me to ask my wife to get dressed quick? No, of course I don’t love my life, but I do love my wife..Duh!!
Say No to mobile phones while driving- Oh, don’t tell me you have grown up without seeing the circus. I can obviously drive with my one hand on the bike, one hand busy with my smartphone, and two eyes focusing on the contacts list. After all, the call is really urgent and more important than my existence. Also I am a perfectionist, so I know I can drive without even a single limb. Besides, it is other’s responsibility to watch me coming and make way.
Board the bus at bus stop- You must be kidding right? I mean how I can get a seat if I stand at the bus stop and wait for the bus to come by. I must run and reach to the bus, push a few, kick some, knock some and hop it. All this trouble is no child’s game. And if at all I don’t get myself a seat after all this act of valor, I hung myself to the windows and doors of the bus and reach home. It’s the overpopulation to be blamed, not me.
Drink and drive- Do you mean to say Superman never drank beer? And if he can drink and fly, I am still driving a car. I know the roads and can drive straight anytime. I am more sober when drunk and tipsier when not. I value the feel of cool breeze on my face, when I drink and drive at night, more than I value life. Well, that’s me.
Cracker-roonie- Diwali is round the corner and I must get myself the biggest, the loudest and the brightest of all the crackers in the vicinity, burn them and be flamboyant about how brave I am. I can burn crackers directly from my palm, or fly rockets with its tail in my hand and irritate people with the longest “Chatai” noise burning right next to the motor vehicle parked. Cracker burns literally make me laugh. Is it possible?
Sometimes, to drive home the point, one has to stoop to the level of the person understanding it. However young one may be, however brave one may be, one mustn’t be silly enough to risk all that he has got. If not for yourself, may be for your parents, for your wife, for your family, for the kids back at home, respect your existence, because may be not you, but they undeniably love your life.
Celebrate your love for your life this Diwali, burn crackers, light lamps, but play safe and stay devoted with Thatslyf…!!
Thatslyf wishes you a very Happy and a Prosperous Diwali…!!